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Born as an Indonesian means I am accustomed to the culture and its eastern habits, among those are democracy and tolerance.
One thing I dislike about eastern culture is that subconsciously they taught you to have less initiative and by that less active. It takes no genius to see where it leads you, play safe.
And because the bonding is pretty close and solid it makes it easier for people to keep tabs of each other and since democracy has rule the country you have to agree with whatever majority says.
You just have to put up with it or you can rebel and risk yourself becoming the talk of the month that comes with a package of resentment.
The thought of being an exile is unbearable, let alone take the opportunity to be different.
There's another culture that mold our habit and it's the culture of small talk. Because it's such a big deal if you offend someone with your words so they invented a way to get what they want without appearing too keen by pretending. Pretend to agree, pretend to respect your opponent, and mostly pretend to be nice even when you loathed them. I see some American has adapt the last model too.
People are too afraid to be straight forward, afraid to be the one to take the blame. Well who doesn't ?
I can't presume to give one final verdict here because once again it's a preference.
One thing for sure, I know what my preference is...
Its only the 4th day in 2012 and I have made a huge step relating my resolution, being fearless that is.
I stand up for myself during a small argument with my sis, looking back I remember how hard I try to avoid any conflict relating her.
See, even someone as blunt as myself still experiencing this kind of problem.
The other one is I face my fear by embracing one naked truth simply by acting on it. Just so you know I don't normally do this. I'm more of a "party my problem away" kinda girl. Try to let the booze do the work swept everything away like it never happen. Although it doesn't make much different cause as far as I remember the problem was still there the next morning.
In fact I live in one kind of reality distortion field where I convinced myself
and others that everything is rosy when it's actually a rocky road.
I decided to change my course and use a different approach instead.
My very BFF once told me when you let go your heart will be able to move freely.
Living in fear is as tough as living your life carrying heavy burden while walking with a bondage.
Fear of what you might ask.
Fear of future, fear of rejection, fear of being abandoned, fear of becoming the talk of the month, fear in a relationship, fear of failure, fear of humiliation, fear of reality, fear of crocodile perhaps.
Being fearless has a lot to do with confidence.
You got to believe in yourself, you have to draw courage from within and have a big heart regardless the result.
Besides life is not about arriving its about enjoying the journey.
In other word fearless means you have the courage to let things go by exercising the art of relinquish. And that my friend is my biggest stumbling rock since forever.
I guess the best way to describe the art of relinquish is by using this slogan "Let go, let God!"
Cause no matter how hard you try in the end you have to come to acknowledge that you need someone who's stronger, who's more than able, and care enough to help you to get through all of these things.
Don't see this as a lesson from me to you but this post is more like a personal reminder and a learning process toward myself at least for the next 12 marvelous months.
Oh boy do we ever stop learning ?
Regardless of what has happened in my life, I will look forward and held my head up high with expectation that anything is possible.
And that is including changing ones life, mine that is.
I am determined to make this happen by putting every effort and by using every single guts remaining.
So tell me, what's your resolution ?
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